


The Outcome Of Names

by orphan_account



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, I cried writing this, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, major character death but it's to the end, suicide references but lowkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21782470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In a way, names were everything to a person, while nothing to another. It really depended on what you wanted it to mean. However, when you don't even know the context of the name, you can't help but hold negative feelings for it.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 50





	The Outcome Of Names

**Author's Note:**

> It took two weeks to write this shit even though I promised like three people I'd finish it in a day oof but anyways here you go thank spychocat and kina_matata on twitter for helping me with the concept and telling me to finish this shit
> 
> Also! here's a little [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj0XInqZMHY)  
> I thought had some soulmate energy

If Felix is being honest, he’d never quite understood the meaning of what a soulmate is. Maybe it’s because no one could ever give him a real answer. He asked, and someone always thought something different.

“Aww Lix, your soulmate is your other half.” Wasn’t he already a whole person?

“You’re soulmate makes you happy, like nothing can hurt you.” Dancing with Hyunjin and Minho made him happy as well. 

“It’s whoever is written on your arm.” The most solid and stupid explination yet. Considering everyone had the name of who was going to kill them as well, it didn’t give much help in answering Felix’s long time question. 

When Felix learned the alphabet as a toddler, his first coherent words were his mom and dad, as were every other child. But he also loved to look at the names that followed him around wherever he went.

“Changbin!” His squeaky voice would vocalize to his mother. “Felix!”

His mother would smile, encouraging him. “That’s right Felix. You’re learning to read so fast. I’m proud of you.”

“Felix! Felix!” He’d shout excitedly until his older sister yelled to be quiet.

At the time, he didn’t know what the engraved names meant. They were new words and that was all that mattered. It was once he entered elementary school he learned the wonderful and horrifying truth.

One name, the person who loves you unconditionally. The one who would be there for you no matter the hardships. Every emotion possible would be felt when you were with this person. Your soulmate.

Most children were excited. Soulmates had been spoken about by older siblings and parents, but it was always learned in school. They lifted their sleeves, showing each other the names written in curved or straight fonts. Now fully understanding what they entailed, fascination was on another level.

Jisung grinned, holding his wrist to him. “Look Lixie! Mine is so pretty. I bet Hyunjin is pretty too. What does your name look like?”

Sitting across from each other, Felix laid his arms out for Jisung to see the names written. Felix mirrored Jisung’s confused look. 

He didn’t know why he had two names either.

* * *

Felix was twelve when he realized that it wasn’t known if he would kill himself or not. 

It was a week into the start of their first year of secondary school and already he was packed with work. Thank god Felix and Jisung had befriended Seungmin at the beginning of their first year, otherwise they’d be failing half their classes before high-school started.

It was almost too cliche. The three boys were walking in the hallways when Seungmin collided with another first year. Both boys books and papers dropped to the ground and scattered. Felix worried for the life of the stranger, Seungmin could be hostile when it came to work and having his stuff thrown around might not have been the best thing to happen. But the kid was adorable. Maybe Seungmin would actually understand he didn’t mean for the accident to happen.

“I am so so so sorry. I still have trouble finding my class and I wasn’t sure if I was going the right way. I thought I would be late so-”

Jisung and Felix held back a snort when Seungmin cut the kid off. “It’s fine, Felix was way worse than you last year. He broke a locker trying to open it but it turned out it wasn’t even his.”

Felix stopped helping pick up the papers to defend himself. “I told you to stop bringing that up! And I just got the numbers opposite, at least I didn’t sit in the wrong class for two weeks straight.”

That shut Jisung up. “The teacher was quiet, how was I supposed to know she was saying Park Jisung and not Han Jisung.”

The mystery kid giggled at their antics. “Are you two twins?”

“Surprisingly no.” Seungmin clarified. “However, they are clowns.”

“No we’re not!”

“No we’re not!”

Seungmin ignored his two friends who were now causing yells of “JINX!” to resonate down the hallway. “Anyways, my name is Seungmin, what’s yours?”

The kids eyes widened at the name, demeanor suddenly changed from relaxed to alert. “I’m Jeongin, and hopefully your soulmate.”

Seungmin glanced down at his sleeve, already knowing what name is there. “Hey idiots,” He called to his two still bickering friends. Both whipped their heads around from where Felix playfully shoved Jisung at a locker. “I just found my soulmate.”

* * *

Two things happened after Seungmin met Jeongin. One, Jisung complained at least once a week about not having a soulmate. Two, Felix was up at 2am at least once a week wondering why he was the only one out of his friends who had two names.

So far, only his family, Jisung, Seungmin, and now Jeongin knew his secret. He didn’t even know if it should be called a secret, or if it should be a secret.

He’d asked his teacher what it meant if someone were to have two names. There were varying answers. Some said it meant you have two soulmates while others specified suicide. A few said it meant you were your own soulmate, but how would that even work. All answers terrified Felix.

Seungmin, a true scholar at heart, did a little research after seeing just how much it was bothering Felix. One thing people were right about this whole soulmate thing is that they change you for the better. Both boys were pretty much the best of friends despite the short time knowing each other. They didn’t really know about the whole love thing yet, none of them did really. Both said they’d figure it out when they got there.

“So, here’s what I found.” Seungmin said at their lunch table one day. Jisung and Jeongin were playing some game, leaving both to talk in peace. “A long time ago, most people had two names on their arms. But now, a lot less do. If you have someone else’s name on both, that means you have another person as a soulmate and someone else kills you. Back then it was probably through fights or something, but it doesn’t have to be on purpose.”

“How the fuck do you kill someone by accident.”

Seumgnim rolled his eyes. “Ever hear of a car accident genius. Or doctors pulling the plug on someone. Anyways, If you don’t have two names, that usually means you’ll just die on your own of old age, or like a heart attack.”

“Devastating.” 

“Jisung if you say one more comment I’m gonna play your trash mixtape on the school sound system.” Jeongin almost fell on the floor from laughing at Jisung’s horrified expression. “Back to my research. Turns out it’s actually a really simple answer. Advances in medicine and society as a whole has cut down on early death. So less surgerys are going wrong and stuff like that. There’s not actually a lot on soulmates though. And I couldn’t find anything about having your own name.” 

Felix sighed. “So I’m either my own soulmate and I’m gonna be alone forever, or I’m gonna kill myself. Fun.”

Jisung flew across the table like a squirrel after a nut. “Please don’t die Felix! If you die no one will play minecraft with me.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, we don’t know if that’s true. Just don’t worry about it, and if you meet someone named Changbin one day and he doesn’t kill you, you’ll know.”

“I feel better already.”

* * *

Jisung meeting his soulmate put a bullet through Felix's heart. As of now, he was the only one left in his friend group who didn’t find their soulmate. And he still had no idea why his name was on his arm.

Jisung and Felix had been blessed with being in the same homeroom. Seungmin and Jeongin seemed to be sealed together through fate, and ended up in a different homeroom. They had the fortune of getting accepted into the same high-school, Seungmin giving up a more prestigious one to be with his soulmate and friends. Every day for the last two years, they had gone throughout their classes and ate together at lunch, hanging out after school and studying.

It was out of the blue that their homeroom teacher announced they were getting a new transfer student. That, of course, brought whispers and rumors. Felix made eye contact with Jisung and could tell he was interested as well. With it being halfway through the second year of high school, most students were now focusing on studying for the college entrance exam next year. 

“Maybe he got kicked out of his last school?” Felix heard a boy behind him whisper.

Their teacher clapped her hands. “Alright, everyone quiet down. I want you all to welcome your new classmate. Would you like to introduce yourself?”

The boy bowed to the class. “Hello, my name is Hwang Hyunjin. It’s-”

He didn’t get to finish, a clatter at the back of the room distracting everyone. Felix was afraid to turn around. There was a reason everyone called Felix and Jisung twins, because they could sense each others stupidity. And Felix knew Jisung was about to do something very foolish.

Felix started recording just in time to see Jisung spring up from the floor and point dramatically at Hyunjin. “Hwang Hyunjin, I’m Han Jisung and I’m your motherfucking soulmate. Congratulations.”

The sigh Felix let out could broke the silence from Jisung’s statement. Surprisingly, Hyunjin didn’t seem very phased. Perhaps he somehow knew his soulmate would be someone as outgoing as Jisung. Or maybe he was just trying to look cool in front of everyone. Either way, it was a scene right out of a drama when Hyunjin walked up to Jisung’s current seatmate and asked if he could sit.

Needless to say, Seungmin and Jeongin moved to a bigger table when Jisung walked into lunch with boy at his side and a mile wide grin.

* * *

Felix and Jisung laid on Felix’s bed, staring at the letters of acceptance to different Universities. They’d worked so hard to get to this day, and now they had to choose where to go. Together.

Both agreed years ago that whether they had a soulmate when they got accepted into a university or not, they would go together. Hyunjin had understood, and wanted to follow them as well. Felix used to think he didn’t really care about Jisung, but his made changed fast. And seeing how he supported his and Jisung’s friendship, it made him happy Jisung found such a caring soulmate.

“So, we have multiple options.” Jisung began.

“Yeah, but I have no idea which one to pick.” Felix chuckled.

Jisung shuffled through the papers on the bed and pulled a silver colored one out. “What about Simon University? They get a lot of international students, It'd be a good way to make connections for later on.”

“There’s barely anything for the arts though.” Felix pointed out in the degree listings. “What about Wonderland University? The dance and music program is supposed to be amazing.”

Jisung snorted. “Yeah, but have you seen the price of it? And if we’re all gonna get an apartment in that area the rent would be through the roof.”

Felix could feel a headache coming on. They always told them about how hard it was to get into universities, not how hard it was to pick. 

“What about Levanter University?”

Felix popped his eyes open. “We applied there?”

Jisung nodded his head. “Yeah, it was when we were pretty much birthing out applications. It’s a decent price, all the programs are what we’ve been looking into, and I actually think Seungmin and Jeongin said they’re going to this one too.”

Felix shuffled the papers until he found his Levanter paper. Jisung was right, the university was almost too good to be true. It was perfect.

“And who knows,” Jisung glanced at him. “Maybe your soulmate is there.”

Felix scoffed. “Sungie, please. I doubt I’m ever gonna find mine because I don’t have one. Or I’m my own. I don’t know, I’m starting to think the universe messed up when it made me.”

“Impossible, you have freckles. There’s no way the universe messed up.” Jisung sounded so sure of himself Felix almost believed him.

“Doesn’t matter, let’s tell Seungmin and Jeongin about it. I’m sure they’re excited to know we chose the same one as them.”

* * *

The first semester of classes gave Felix hope that maybe, just maybe, Felix wasn’t as broken in the soulmate department as he originally thought.

The five high school friends had decided against living in an apartment their first year, choosing to save money and live in the dorms. They all decided to try random roommates and make some friends.

Felix’s roommate ended up being Chan, an upperclassmen who was barely around. He was nice and everything, but he seemed to always be working. He also found it awkward to be paired with someone older instead of someone in his year. Seungmin told him it was most likely because his roommate graduated early, and the excess of new students ended up in an older students room.

When Felix actually dropped the name of his roommate, Jisung nearly had an aneurysm. He let it out he’d been producing music with Chan and another guy for weeks and hadn’t connected the dots.

“Do you wanna tell him I’d like to get to know him? Sometimes I don’t see him for days.”

Jisung fiddled with his sleeve. “Yeah, he’s a bit of an insomniac. I’ll mention it to him though. He has said he felt bad for ignoring his roommate, if it means anything.”

True to his word, Chan came around the room more. He worked in the room, but he also tried to talk and get to know Felix. It was nice to get to know the person he was living with. Chan, or Chris, was a pretty interesting guy.

Especially when he mentioned that he had two soulmates.

Felix stopped Chan before he could say anything else. “Was a minute, did you just say two soulmates?”

Chris continued composing as if he didn’t just change Felix’s entire worldview. “Yeah, Minho and Woojin. When I was younger I thought it was weird no one else had two names, but after awhile I just accepted it. Then I found the two of them and I’ve never been happier. Sometimes people think it’s freaky, but I just point out that you can’t control who your soulmate is. And if I have two, that’s the way it is.” Chan side-eyed Felix. “We’re not gonna have a problem, are we?”

Felix held his hands out. “No, no, that’s not it. It’s just…I don’t know if I have one. Well, it’s more like I don’t know if someone else is.”

That interested Chan enough to stop his working. “Wanna run that by me again chief.”

Felix laughed. He had gotten the speech down after years of contemplation. “I have my name on my arm and someone else's on the other. But I have no idea if I’m going to kill myself or if I’m my own soulmate.  
“Damn, that’s rough. How the hell do you even tell if you’re your own soulmate. Like is it you don’t get lonely by yourself? Do you want to be alone? That’s so confusing.” Chan was happy Felix was opening up after their rough start.

“Exactly! I wish Changbin could just show up to either date me or kill me. Like get it over with.” 

Both were quiet for a few minutes for very different reasons, but Chan broke it first. “Hey, why don’t we go out sometime? We only ever talk in our room. Let’s hang outside of the dorm. I know this really cool coffee place I’ve been meaning to check out.”

“You know, if soulmates didn’t exist, I’d think you were asking me on a date.” Felix laughed. “How’s this saturday? I’m free around 12.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Chan turned back to his computer, presumably to resume working. What Felix didn’t see was Chan opening his messenger app.

**Cable:** What are you doing Saturday at 12

**Speaker:** Who’s asking?

**Cable:** Me dumb bitch

**Speaker:** fuck you

 **Speaker:** Nothing I’m free

**Cable:** Good we’re going to a cafe

* * *

Felix anxiously waited for Chan to meet him outside of the cafe. The vague text of a promising surprise was causing twists in his stomach. Usually Chan would give some kind of context when he was withholding information from Felix, but absolutely nothing was let slip. Now, five minutes late, Felix’s mind was racing with everything that could have gone wrong.

Thankfully, Chan rounded the corner. However, he wasn’t alone like Felix thought he would be. Chan never said anything about bringing one of his friends with him, he did look familiar though. 

_Maybe one of the guys in Chan’s rap group? 2racha? He looks like an emo rapper._ Felix wondered.

Both Chan and Mr. Dark as Felix decided to call him, seeing his all black attire, painted from sprinting. “Sorry we’re late, we missed the bus and the taxi couldn’t find this place so we just had it drop us off a few blocks away.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it. Do you and your friend want to go inside?” 

Felix regretted asking as soon as he saw Chan’s face. He’d only known his friend for a few months but had already figured out the small things about him. And the look on his face meant he was planning. Felix was in the dark about something that Chan knew.

“Actually,” Chan grinned, pushing Mr. Dark in front of him. “I have stuff to do, so Binnie can keep you company!”

Mr. Dark, now known as Binnie, looked as confused as Felix. “Wait, what? I thought we-”

Chan walked away before either one could ask anything else. “Tell me how it goes later!”

Felix shuffled in place, not completely knowing what to do. His new companion looked equally as uncomfortable, obviously not having known Chan was going to disappear right away.

“So uh, what’s the plan now?” Felix intelligently asked. 

The guy shrugged. “I mean, it’s a waste to come all the way out here and not see if this place is good or not.” _Oh no he’s hot and confident. Stop it Felix you need to sort your soulmate shit out._ “Oh, I’m Changbin by the way. I don’t think Chan mentioned me.” _HOLY SHIT HE IS MY SOULMATE YOU’RE SCREWED NOW._

Felix really hoped he wouldn’t pass out. “Umm, I really hope your arm isn’t as messed up as mine. Cause I’m Felix, and I’m pretty sure Chan set us up on purpose.”

After seeing the realization dawn on Changbin’s face, Felix realized that yes, Changbin was his soulmate. And yes, he would be killing himself one day. That day is not today though.

Changbin stepped around Felix, bell dinging above the door. “Let’s thank Chan later, I can buy you a drink for now though.”

Felix grinned, years of stress lifted instantly. No more wondering. No more envy. He could have peace finally.

* * *

Being Felix’s best friend and Changbin’s groupmate, Jisung instantly disproved of the relationship. He was also pissed he didn’t realize the two were soulmates earlier.

Their relationship had been the glue that brought the two groups together. The now nine boys were inseparable, and from the outside looking in wouldn’t be able to tell who belonged with who.

But Felix knew, name or not, Changbin was the one for him. They’d been going out for almost two months and Felix already debating dropping the l word. 

Both had been at Changbin’s apartment that he shared with Minho when Felix accidentally said it. They were watching some cheesy movie on tv, taking a break from the stress of school work. At each bad joke, Felix would make some sort of snide comment, knowing he’d get a kiss in a failing attempt to stop him from interrupting. 

“Help! I’m being attacked with affection. Call the police!” Felix tried to roll off the couch but Changbin held him in place.

“God, you’re so annoying. Can you calm down for 10 minutes?” Of course Felix knew Changbin wasn’t actually annoyed, but it was funny to him.

“Aww, you know you love me.”

The was a beat of silence between them before any sort of processing could take place. Felix, realizing what had been said, face planted into the couch pillow. He could already feel his face heat up in embarrassment. Ok, so maybe he did love Changbin, but he had no idea if the feelings were reciprocated. Being soulmates wasn’t an automatic pass, Hyunjin and Jisung were proof of that. Felix didn’t want to remember that mess and didn’t want to go through it either.

Changbin ran his hand through Felix’s blonde hair. “Pixie, please look at me. I’m not upset; I need you to look at me though.”

Felix turned half his head, ready to hide again if need be. “I’m sorry.”

Changbin frowned. “Why are you sorry baby? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I feel emotions too much, and I know you said you wanted to talk things slowly and I probably freaked you out because you don’t feel the same way.” Felix let everything tumble out. Even he didn’t know he’d been feeling that way.

“Who said I don’t feel the same way?”

“Who said I don’t feel the same way?” Felix didn’t know how to respond considering that possibility hadn’t come into his mind. “Did I ever say I don’t love you?”

That got Felix’s head fully out of the couch. “What?”

Changbin sat up and pulled Felix into his lap. “Felix, I’m in love with you. You weren’t wrong.”

Felix searched Changbin’s eyes to find the lie, but couldn’t find any. 

_Don’t you dare cry._ Felix thought as he began to cry. Changbin panicked, thinking he had done something wrong. “Fuck, Lix, I’m sorry. I didn-”

Felix’s hands cupping his face distracted him from his alarmed rant. “Just kiss me and say you love me.”

How could Changbin say no to what makes Felix happy.

* * *

“Jisung, I swear to god if you don’t stand still I’m making Chan my best man instead.”

Felix was trying to get his excited best friend under control, but there was no use. When they gave him the nickname squirrel, he may have taken it to heart too much. Now, ten minutes before Felix was supposed to be married, Jisung was panicking more than the actual groom.

“Listen Lix, as your best friend and best man, it’s indecisive that I make sure everything goes right.” Jisung began another lecture, having already put Felix through multiple.

Hyunjin, his savior, stopped him just in time. “And as your soulmate, I have to tell you the word you were looking for is imperative, and you need to chill. We’ve got this.”

Apparently, they didn’t have it. Minho choose that moment to burst through the door. “WHERE ARE THE RINGS?”

It was as if all three in the room shared the same brain cell, as they screamed back. “YOU LOST THE RINGS?”

Woojin, somehow, was able to be composed amid the panic. They didn’t even notice him enter with Minho. “They’re somewhere in Chan’s room, everyone stay calm.”

Minho grabbed his husband's shoulders. “Wooj, I love you, but we have less than ten minutes. I am going to panic.”

Felix tried to practice some breathing exercises to not pass out. Woojin was basically the dad of the group. If he said it would be fine, it would be fine. “Let’s check in here just in case.”

When Seungmin burst into the room to get Felix, everyone’s hearts dropped. Until he pulled out a small black box. “Get out there Felix. You’ve got someone waiting.”

Felix threw his hands up. “I’m getting married!”

Jisung practically threw him out the door before anyone could react. They quickly followed, running off to the sides to take their places at the front where the groomsmen stand. Jisung and Felix stood side by side before they both parted ways.

“You remember when we were in elementary school,” Jisung reminisced. “And the teacher told us about soulmates for the first time. We were so confused about yours. I was so excited to know who Hyunjin was.”

Felix chuckled. “I used to get so upset talking about soulmates, wondering how I would be my own soulmate. I don’t want to worry now, I just wanna be happy.”

“Stop, I’m supposed to cry when your getting married, not now. You go marry your man, i’ll see you up there.” Jisung walked off, following the ghost trails of the others.

Felix paced, nerves creeping up on him. He’d never back out, not when he was the one who’d asked Changbin to marry him. But he was about to get married, and that terrified him. Not because he’d be trapped and not be able to be with someone else. He’s terrified because he’d gone from hating the thought of soulmates existing, to thinking they’re the most treasured concept in the universe. 

“You know, I’m glad you’re not marrying yourself. I’d be quite awkward to walk you down the aisle to, well, yourself.” His dad joked from behind slipping his arm through Felix’s. “You ready?” 

One deep breath and confirmation later, Felix had a room full of eyes on him. His eyes only met one other person. He sure hoped someone took pictures of the room, cause he wouldn’t remember any details.

Felix always thought Chanbin looked good. He may be biased, but it’s the truth. Right now though, he was absolutely stunning. Even though it was just a simple suit and tie, he was the most elegant being in the room. He snapped out of his tunnel vision when his dad let go, sitting down next to his mom and sisters. 

The ceremony went on like usual, and Felix paid too much attention to Changbin to notice the words said. He only noticed that time had passed when Changbin started his vows.

“In the beginning, both of us thought the whole soulmate thing was bullshit. Especially since it was Chan that tricked us into going to that coffee shop and meeting each other. But after falling in love with you abnormally quickly, I realized that soulmate or not, I would have found you no matter what. Whether I have your name or not doesn’t matter, I know you’re the only one for me.” 

_Felix I swear to god don’t you dare cry._ Surprisingly, Felix didn’t cry. At least on the outside. Then it was time to say his. He really hoped he didn’t mess up. “When I was a kid, I used to hate looking at my arms. Nobody I knew had two names. I even made Seungmin do research in middle school because I wanted to know what was wrong with me. I never knew which name would love me and which would kill me. And then I met you. And you showed me I don’t have to be scared anymore. It doesn’t matter what happens with the second name, all that matters is the time I spend with you.” _DON’T YOU DARE CRY LIX._

He heard the marriage confirmation, he heard they can kiss and be married, he heard the clapping. But nothing except changbin holding him and promising him a future with one kiss processed with him.

* * *

The slow beeping echoed around the stark white room. Jisung and Hyunjin had just left, visiting hours over except for family. Felix sat in a chair besides Changbin’s bed, hand clutched in his weak grip.

Even when his midnight hair turned snow, when the laugh lines caught up to him, Felix thought Changbin was stunning. 

“Pixie, why don’t you head home. You should sleep.” Changbin’s raspy voice came out from the dim abyss.

Felix shook his head, not that he could see. “I’m staying here love. I’ll be fine.”

A deep chuckle. “You never listen to me. You never have.”

“Now why would I ever do that?”

They stayed like that for a long time enough time that a nurse came in and asked if he would be leaving. Felix said no, and left it at that.

“Lix.” Changbin’s voice was barely audible. “I don’t know if I’m gonna make it tonight. I’m so tired Lixie.”

Felix’s heart broke for so many reasons. “I know you are love. Just relax, ok? I’ll be right back, I’m getting some water from my bag.”

Felix grabbed his cane and shuffled across the room. He made sure Changbin couldn’t see his rummaging, trying to find the bag. 

Even though his eyes were beginning to fail, he could still find the plastic bag filled with medicine. It had been a pain sneaking it past Seungmin. His long time friend always seemed to have a sixth sense for when one of their friends were doing something they’d regret. Maybe that was why Seungmin didn’t notice, Felix had no regrets.

As his life progressed, the worry of his own name being on his arm fluctuated. How would he be the cause of his death? With each year the worry became more pronounced, but also less important. By the time 80 hit, he ignored it all together. He was an old man with his husband, why should he care?

Now, in a small room with his dying soulmate, he realized that he was right as a teenager. He’d be his own demise. But he was okay, because he was leaving with the one he loved. He would get to see Chan, Woojin, Minho, and Jeongin again. He’d miss his Jisung, Hyunjin, and Seungmin so much. But he knew they’d see each other again. 

He emptied the bag into his hand, ten little white pills falling out. It’d be more than enough. There was no fear present when he tilted his head back and washed them down with water. He just looked at Changbin, and knew he’d be ok.

Felix waddled back over onto the chair, grabbing Changbin’s hand. He felt a tug and questioned if he needed anything.

“Come lay with me. I want to hold you in my sleep one last time.” Changbin patted the side of the bed. Felix managed to pull himself up next to Changbin. They still fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

Felix placed a kiss on his cheek. “Sleep, love. You deserve it.”

“I’m glad I got to see the stars one last time.” Changbin caressed his face, eyes fluttering closed.

Felix held his hand still. “I always told myself not to cry, but I’m not thinking that now. You’ve given me too much happiness and love. I’m glad you were the one who was on my arm.”

The last thing Felix heard before sleep overtook Changbin was a quiet “I’m in love with you.”

Felix could feel his mind and body getting heavy, and shut his eyes as well. 

Many people say people think back on their regrets and what they missed out on in their life, but Felix didn’t regret much. He didn’t regret the months Changbin was gone on tour, him Chan and Jisung finally making it big as musicians. He didn’t think about how he survived the car accident while Minho hadn’t. He thought about the vacation he and Jisung took to Japan to celebrate their 50 years of friendship. He thought about the yearly amusement park trips they promised to take, and that promise was kept. He thought about Chan asking him to be the godfather to his adopted daughter.

Sure, Felix had regrets, but as he felt both him and Changbin fade out of existence, he didn’t think about them. He just thought about a young boy who didn’t realize how amazing his life would be, all because of a name on his wrist.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried reading this tbh this fic is my child plus it's the first one i've written that's actually good in a WHILE. tbh i'm better at one shots that longer stories but WHAT EVER it be like that sometimes.
> 
> [Follow my twitter for stupid shit](https://twitter.com/9strayboys)  
> 


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